Happiness Consultant

I started out this post a few days ago, with a detailed description of my unfortunate premier dinner at a local Italian restaurant I had longed to go to for a while. I planned to zoom out of those details and continue to the past weeks events. At that point I thought these events had reached their climax but I was obviously wrong. Today I feel the have defiantly reached some kind of maximum, at least for now.

I am actually doing it. Sitting alone in coffee shop meters from my house. Me and my lap. The same lap I had learned can't hook itself up to the TV today. So I am at a bit of a love/hate relationship as of now.
I am coping with being let down and letting down at the same time. So peculiar to me that we can be part two very similar, almost identical circumstances, and yet feel so different about each of them. When things happen too quickly, they tend to effect each other. Finding out what is right and what is wrong, and I know there are no absolutes, is a demanding task.

I am writing in the coffee shop and determined to push "publish" in the coffee shop. No rewrites later in the evening, or tomorrow or in a week. There are some happy people around me, specially the young father who is constantly smiling to his pretty little girl. And the guy who just joined them?
Is he happy?

I am waiting to catch a glimpse of her passing by. I know she'll be out soon, but probably I way too early and by that time my battery will run out.
There are a lot of others, some better in other ways and some generally better, but they are not currently her - and that's a incurable flaw.

I am flattering myself, I wish I had not had the urge to write the following lines. Lately I have been feeling like Happiness consultant from the HBO series, except I have no kids to gain custody over, no house to renovate and bad internet connection, so I can't even access my farmville, and harvest those long rotten strawberries.